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Profile: Afro_Raven




Joined: way back
United Kingdom
Lessons: 1
Karma: 20
Moderator
Name: Josh
Surname: Raven
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Country: United Kingdom
City: Worcester
Experience (years): 7
Profile views: 8116
Posts: 529

Instruments Played:

Guitar,
Baritone vocals,
Piano (Jazz and Pop),
Clarinet
Drums,
Trombone (YEAH! ROCK ON!!!)

Favorite Bands and Styles of Music:

Pick an artist - chances are, I'll find something I like about them.

Biography:

I worked in the tin mines of Cornwall (southern England) for many years before being bought from my owners by the Duke of Kidderminster. Life with him was no better, however, as he forced me to clean his Renault with an earbud (Q-tip) and shave his youngest daughter's beard, in the vain hope that she might begin to look slightly more feminine and thus attract a handsome young man who might one day marry her and inherit the Duke's wealth once he passed away. Unable to bear this treacherous path of life any longer, I ran away to a travelling circus. I there befriended one of the performing pandas, who went by the name of Sparkly Tim. My special trick was to be eaten by Sparkly Tim the panda, who would then digest me and pass me out as a sausage. You can probably well empathise with me, that this neither was much of an improvement let alone a luxurious way to live. One day, as the circus was being packed away, ready to set out on the road again, I watched as one of the young trapeze artists called Belvedere sat on the steps of his caravan singing 'You Only Live Twice' and strumming on an old battered guitar. I was mesmerised. I sat and watched him for hours and hours. He did not ask me why because he was blind, but I am sure that even with eyes and the knowledge of my presence, he would have been only too happy to continue his gentle serenade. Unable to contain my glee no longer, I asked him if I could possibly play his guitar awhile. He said no, so I punched him and stole it, but I am sure that even if he did not have a heart of concrete and an eye of glass, he would not have objected to my playing and musical expression. I continued running for many days, and eventually arrived in a town that went by the name of Slough. It was a terrible part of England, so I ran straight through it until I found a small cave, inhabited only by badgers and a goat. And that is where I am now my friends, talking to you from my cave. I hear you ask how it is that I am able to use the internet here, but I may have forgotten to say that one of the badgers is the operations manager of NASA and the goat is a doctor of technology, and a graduate from Oxford University, so creating a web connection was a mere picnic compared to their normal professional dealings. And I must leave you now friends, as I fear that soon enough the scientists will be traversing upon the nearby path, in the hope that they will find me and take me back to the National Institute for Psychological and Psychopathological Learning Experiments (or NIPPLES for short). Goodbye chums! Chocks away!!!

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