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A New Original Tune

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btimm  
10 Jun 2014 22:41 | Quote
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
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Karma: 16
So I finally, after months of studying jazz, thought I learned enough to try my hand at writing a song. I can say that took quite a long time to learn, but I feel fairly comfortable now, primarily with comping. Lead still needs, and always will, some studying. You could almost say that this tune was a study in arpeggios, because that is how I created the head for the song and also some of the soloing was just pretty much arpeggios. Anyways, hope you enjoy it. This song was written for my youngest son Joey, who just turned 1 on 6/7. Now just need songs for the wife and daughter!


btimm  
10 Jun 2014 22:47 | Quote
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
United States
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Here's a pic of me with my two boys. Joey is the younger boy.


Guitarslinger124  
10 Jun 2014 23:05 | Quote
Joined: 25 Jul 2007
United States
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Moderator
Pretty cool and relaxing.

I feel like you are playing too much staccato. Transitions can be difficult to perform, however, when you are playing staccato any mistakes you make stand out that much more.

You might also want to try more variation in the bass parts and let the bass and guitar instruments play off each other a little more to create more depth. It sounded as though the bass was the only instrument playing the "main" theme. Using the piano or guitar to accompany that theme will free your bass up to playing different harmonies and melodies.

Other than that, the only issues I had were mixing issues and since I'm struggling through some of those myself, I'll keep those comments to myself.

Ha, I know it sounds like I just bashed your tune, but I did really enjoy. It was way different than what I expected when I hit "play"; so kudos on that. Good job!
MoshZilla1016  
11 Jun 2014 08:18 | Quote
Joined: 10 Jul 2010
United States
Lessons: 4
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Karma: 16
I like it. A few mixing issues but overall it's a good tune.
btimm  
12 Jun 2014 12:46 | Quote
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 16
Guitarslinger124 says:
Pretty cool and relaxing.

Thanks! I was trying to go for an upbeat and happy sort of feeling, because that is how Joey is.

Guitarslinger124 says:
I feel like you are playing too much staccato. Transitions can be difficult to perform, however, when you are playing staccato any mistakes you make stand out that much more.

See, I think the same thing. But I have no idea of how to really change that. Maybe it just comes naturally with playing more. I am hoping to get some more time to practice, but it is becoming more and more difficult. Staccato might be fine for some things, especially syncopated progressive riffs, but it sounds pretty awful for a song like this.

Guitarslinger124 says:
You might also want to try more variation in the bass parts and let the bass and guitar instruments play off each other a little more to create more depth. It sounded as though the bass was the only instrument playing the "main" theme. Using the piano or guitar to accompany that theme will free your bass up to playing different harmonies and melodies.

Yeah, I didnít think the bass sounded too bad, but it definitely could get some more variation. Thatís one of the drawbacks of limited time. Hell, I spent quite a bit of time just learning basic bass walking theory and trying to come up with something that sounded okay to my ears. Variation would be nicer though, I agree, I just donít have the skillset yet. Maybe one day.


Guitarslinger124 says:
Other than that, the only issues I had were mixing issues and since I'm struggling through some of those myself, I'll keep those comments to myself.

Share! It seems the mixing was not received well for this song or the last song, but when I was listening to the songs in my car, they sounded pretty good to my ears. What should be done to improve this? I could spend some time focusing on the low, mids, and highs for each instrument, but I didnít think it sounded bad, other than crappy free MIDI software and poor overall playing Ė I doubt mixing would fix that.

Guitarslinger124 says:
Ha, I know it sounds like I just bashed your tune, but I did really enjoy. It was way different than what I expected when I hit "play"; so kudos on that. Good job!

Meh, constructive criticism like this can only improve my playing/song writing. People canít take things personally Ė even if it IS personal Ė or the improvement process wonít materialize. I always appreciate your comments, because they help me to grow as a musician (can I even call myself that? Hahaha) and song writing etc. Although, it seems I may want to put song writing on hold for a couple years until I can improve even more. Despite being on this site and playing for a while now, I still feel like I am fairly new to playing, because I just donít get much time outside of work/gym/family. I played two of the last three nights and it was the first time I had a chance to touch my guitar in about 1.5 weeks. :o Next up for studying will be a combination of finger picking guitar and metal. I need to vary the two to keep my sanity, most intro finger picking songs I am finding are not what I like musically, hahaha.

Moshzilla1016 says:
I like it. A few mixing issues but overall itís a good tune.

Thanks! And can you extrapolate? I want to fix these issues, so what did you think could be improved upon?
Empirism  
12 Jun 2014 18:20 | Quote
Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Finland
Lessons: 4
Karma: 35
Not bad at all m8, ofc like you are aware of those few technical issues, but musically it sounds "right". You should try to improve your lead just thinking about it first.

Practise a bit hammerons so in style like this you get more "smooth" roll to your lead like there was one around 1:20 or so, but if you find it unconfortable and want to pick every note, practise to keep it "tight" its crucial imo in that kind of play.

but hey, you made improvements from your last songs much in my opinion, so keep playing and jamming to get timing tight.

Cheers
-Emp
MoshZilla1016  
12 Jun 2014 19:58 | Quote
Joined: 10 Jul 2010
United States
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Karma: 16
Just minor things such as @ 0.45 another guitar starts a lead but the volume is lower than the first lead. Kinda gets lost in the background then it seems to gain a little about half way through.


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