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another dang song (the original name!)

Songwriting
Heather  
15 Sep 2008 15:27 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
I'm only posting this as requested by Phip (and I should return a favour as he makes us all laugh while helping) so to keep the record clear I'm not considering re-writing this as everyone I know includeing my music teacher all like the lyrics so I'd rather those opinions since they're the ones I'll be performing for and will mark me for my last school year (THANK GOD IT'S GONNA BE ALL OVER SOON!!! :) also, yes I HAD to keep that name as I've never changed it since I was drafting on that word document, I even gave that title to school staff lol)

Verse 1:

I don’t know, what went wrong,
About you and me,
How I made it to the place, where you were gone,
All I know, is what I wouldn’t give,

Chorus:

What I wouldn’t give,
To be back there, again,
In the time, where I didn’t care,
When you were mine, when I wasn’t there,
When how much you really meant to me,
Never crossed, my mind,

What I wouldn’t give, (last chorus reapeat is actually with 'Beacause of')

Verse 2:

You were right, the last time,
I know I was wrong,
Now I crossed the line,
But that’s why you’re gone,

Because of what I wouldn’t give,

(Repeat chorus)
BodomBeachTerror  
15 Sep 2008 15:34 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
i like it, and i love the title!
Afro_Raven  
15 Sep 2008 15:37 | Quote
Joined: way back
United Kingdom
Lessons: 1
Karma: 20
Moderator
Verse 3:

Now I know things were bad,
Because I gave you genital warts ("how sad"-backing singers)
Then you got really mad,
And you told your dad,

Chorus 2:
What I wouldn't give,
To be back there, again,
In the time where we could get it on,
Without all the pain ("from the warts" - backing singers)

Outro:
Say no to warts (repeat)

Sorry, I just thought the song was missing a little something!

Only joking, you've got some amazing lyrics there, I'd love to hear the music for them.
We really should try and get Admin to put another section onto the site specially for people to upload their songs/audio files...

Afro

Heather  
15 Sep 2008 15:41 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
Thanks guys, especially you Afro! :P Mr Shaller would REALLY like that wonderful improvement xD

It would be great to do tha actually, I hope he's reading this and won't find it hard to do, that'd be a well used tweak I think. I realy should get a camera though, I only got some old Sony home vidio recoreder from the 1980's!
Empirism  
15 Sep 2008 15:58 | Quote
Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Finland
Lessons: 4
Karma: 35
Yep, but that means to have much server space to store all the files...
TheAmericanBrit  
15 Sep 2008 16:02 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
United States
Karma: 1
Title sucks, but the lyric are fine. I could put a rhythm to it.
Phip  
16 Sep 2008 07:04 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
@Heather,
Thanks for posting. nice improvement!
Hope you finish with the highest grade.
Phip


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