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New song-summer nights

Songwriting
gshredder2112  
24 Jun 2011 01:39 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
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gs2112
gshredder2112  
24 Jun 2011 01:41 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
United States
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The bleeped word is gawd-dam
tinyskateboard  
24 Jun 2011 10:33 | Quote
Joined: 28 Apr 2010
United States
Karma: 11
Great work dude. I like the non-complicatedness of it...like Hemmingway.

I don't so much dig on the word "dwelling"; it's a little chunky.

"life and love" is a term you might want to find a replacement for, imho, as it sounds sorta over-used or cliche.

Keep it up.

gshredder2112  
24 Jun 2011 11:33 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2010
United States
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Thanks for the feedback. Mayeb change "dwelling on" to 'living with"
or "going along with". And as for the "life and love" maybe chang to
" our inner desires" or "the one we love".Which do you like?

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gs2112


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