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"Neon Night (End of the Day)"

Songwriting
baseballer02  
27 Sep 2010 19:22 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
This one is called ďNeon Night (End of the Day)Ē. Tell me what you think!

Intro:
Itís the end of the day, with the tortured sun
Having made his daily trip around the Earth
Now He burns away at the edge of sight,
Thatís when the lighters come out and cigarettes ignite.
The kerosene burns bright
To match the neon night
And the scene is hardly done
It waves goodbye to the tortured sun.

Chorus 1:
It says, ďDonít Resist the Poison!Ē, as you can tell
The sun tried, but it fell
Into a prison; a twelve-hour cell
Just to make room for a neon Hell.

Verse 1:
Like McConaughey, Iím dazed and confused.
The smokes cleared, but who are you?
A ghost of a friend whose end came from them and
Despite good intentions he had to submit.
Now I find myself hating myself for waiting
To head down that corridor after you.

Verse 2:
I should have known.
I should have tried.
In hindsight Iím biased to think that I might just
Have lost you all by myself, without any help from another.
You said ďNo worries donít bother.
Iím no lost cause, cuz Iím not lost at all!
So letís stop the pretenses, go on and pick up a pencil,
Take out some paper, and write this one downĒ

Chorus 2:
You said, ďYou cannot resist the Poison!Ē, as you can tell
The sun tried, but it fell
Into a prison; a twelve-hour cell
Just to make room for a neon Hell.

Verse 3:
Like Caesar, I feel betrayed.
Take this knife out my back;
Feels like I just got punched by Cassius Clay.
With my dying breathe I say ďEh Tu Brute?Ē
Because those neon lights pulled you away,
But unlike the sun I donít know if you will return.

Verse 4:
And I donít care if you donít want me,
Iím still gonna follow you around the Earth.
So long as Iím there, the sun will be too,
And the neon lights wonít shine quite as bright.
I donít care if youíre poisoned, Iíll suck out the venom!
Now take out pen and paper, and curb your indifference.
I wonít let you forget me, so write that one down.
nullnaught  
27 Sep 2010 21:23 | Quote
Joined: 05 Jun 2010
Karma: 22
You write way better than i
baseballer02  
27 Sep 2010 23:05 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
Thanks! but you don't give yourself credit, it will come the more you work at it. Most of my stuff still is somewhat cliche.
JazzMaverick  
28 Sep 2010 17:56 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
This is definitely good man. What style of music would you play with these lyrics?
baseballer02  
29 Sep 2010 16:03 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
I have different ways I could play it, but in my head i prefer the version that sounds more like Rise Against and Sum 41 if you've ever heard of them.


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