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"The Martyr and The Victim"

Technique
baseballer02  
30 May 2010 19:10 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
This song is still somewhat a work in progress, as evidenced in the second verse. I have written to the side an alternate second verse, and I can't decide which to use. Any advice/constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

Verse 1&2:
Iím beginning to think,
Whatís it matter to me?
And all of my convictions
Are dead-end at the door.

Keep my head up high,////////////////////////Keep my head up high
Shoulders as well too.////////////////////////Shoulders as well too.
And right before the hammer falls,////////////And right before I fall,
Iíll know I canít be hurt anymore.////////////Iíll cut me to my core.

Iím beginning to think, whatís it matter to me?

Chorus:
The Martyr and the Victim
Arenít as different as you think.
Both give their dying breath
To protect that which they seek.

The Martyr and the Victim
Lie at executionerís feet.
Both are hostages
Of the hostilities of our world.

Verse 3&4:
Iíve started to think,
Whatís the purpose of all this?
Why the need to protect
That which is intangible?

Flashback to a moment ago.
I walked in from a beautiful August.
Never thinking today a gun
Would bury me in a hole.

Iíve started to think, whatís the purpose of all this?

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
The victimís been martyrized,
Tortured by his killer.
Never to see another day
Of his average life.

The martyrís been victimized.
Hung up on the gallows,
Stapled to a crossÖ..hair
Of Persecution.

3rd Chorus:
The Martyr and the Victim!
The Victim and the Martyr!
Run and tell all Fathers,
Theyíre one in the same!

I think we made a mistake!
Somewhere along the way!
The Bible preaches us,
Peace every day!

(Repeat 3rd Chorus again)

Iím beginning to think, whatís it matter to me?
BodomBeachTerror  
30 May 2010 20:03 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
what kind of music would you put this to?
baseballer02  
30 May 2010 21:19 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
Most of my music is either Alt. Rock, or Acoustic, as of right now this song is more acoustically driven, but I am tampering with putting some light distorted guitar in the background. Oh and haha i just realized i accidentally put this under "Technique" instead of "Songwriting"
baseballer02  
31 May 2010 19:25 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
This is how the music sounds
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/baseballer02/
JazzMaverick  
1 Jun 2010 05:34 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
It really reminds me of Fair To Midland dude! I'm loving these lyrics! Can't wait to hear a finished song with this! :D

Listening to the music I'm really liking what I hear - I honestly pictured a sort of rock feel to this, but the acoustic sets a really good feeling. I think you need to practice that song a little more, so there aren't any mistakes, but this song is overall brilliant :D

When will you be recording your voice?


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