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New Song - "No Sunrise on the Pacific"

Songwriting
baseballer02  
28 May 2010 10:06 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
Verse 1:
It's a long, dark night,
With no end in sight.
Look for the horizon line,
Find me a (rising) sun so bright.
To illuminate this
Pacific shore that I miss.

Tell me now, is this the darkest it gets?

Chorus:
And when the sun rises on the Pacific.
I know there won't be no more specifics.
And those exuberant rays,
Will erase my days,
That I knew pain,
That I knew sorrow.
But everything is all in vain.
There's no sunrise on the Pacific, no.

Verse 2:
Guilt ices over me now.
Frozen with mistakes, I make a vow,
To never infiltrate a wounded mind.
Why'd I have to crave you for mine?

Tell me now, is this as cold as it gets?

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
I need a place where I can grow up a bit!
I need a place without a Pacific!
I need somebody to get me through this night!
Somebody to set my soul alight!
But there's no sunrise on the Pacific!
There's no sunrise on the Pacific!
So keep your broken soul well hidden,
If it gets we it won't dry in the end.

Tell me now.
Oh just tell me now.

Alternate Chorus:
So keep your shattered dreams well hidden,
If they get wet they won't dry in the end.
Because there's no sunrise on the Pacific.
No sunrise to dry out the stains,
Left by my bleeding body.
Left by my broken soul.
And I know change will never be ready!
Because there's no sunrise on the Pacific, no!

Outro:
A-oh, A-oh (X4)
No Sunrise on the Pacific! (X3)
No Sunrise, No Sunrise on the Pacific, No!!
lewsongs  
30 May 2010 09:34 | Quote
Joined: 28 May 2010
Karma
I like your use of words but the total story isn't quite clear to me. From verse one and first chorus, are you on a island? a drift a sea? or just on a pacific coast? Some much time is spent on the location for where you feel pain, I think more details would help.
baseballer02  
30 May 2010 19:05 | Quote
Joined: 27 Dec 2009
United States
Karma: 2
Thanks for the suggestion! As to exactly where I am in the song, it doesn't really matter, so long as you get the connection that I'm looking West, and that it's impossible for the sun to rise looking Westward at the Pacific. So I guess I'd be in California or somewhere on the West coast of the U.S.

To help clarify though I'll change the 3rd Line to read "Look West for a Horizon Line", though I'm not sure how much that will help.
lewsongs  
1 Jun 2010 19:46 | Quote
Joined: 28 May 2010
Karma
baseballer02. I think I put too much importance on the words "Pacific shore that I miss". My mind went to a pacific island in the first verse. So, if the song is mostly about deep depression it's done, and done well.

You might turn your alternate chorus ideas into a third verse if song needs more time.


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