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Anyone know any good music theory jokes?

Music Theory
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LedZeppRox13  
17 May 2010 19:49 | Quote
Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Karma: 11
All i know is this one: A 'C,' an E-flat, and a 'G' go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry,but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
Heather  
17 May 2010 19:55 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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Haha that's pretty clever!

Erm I think I remember being told this terrible one back in school. My friend said "What's in-sync?" I said (very excitedly...honestly) "I dunno. What is in-sync?" "Notes, sat in a sink! AND - they move out OF the sink! HAHAHAHA!"

Y'know. I took a while to get that. But it's cos in-sync means the notes move out 'of sync'....she's so funny Lord I miss her.
BodomBeachTerror  
17 May 2010 19:56 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
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*swats fly* he needed to B sharp or B flat
Heather  
17 May 2010 19:56 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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WIN! /\
GuitarJoe  
17 May 2010 19:57 | Quote
Joined: 19 Jun 2008
United States
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lol @ LedZep. that joke is awesome
Mistaluke  
17 May 2010 20:34 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
lol there all funny but I GOT THE BEST! ;)
haha nawww yours are all good but heres a one.
(Guitar jokes just thought I'd share!)
How many guitarist does it take to change a lightbulb?

ONE!
and ninteen to tell him "Not bad! but i coulda done better."

Pretty cheeesy! 8)


LedZeppRox13  
17 May 2010 20:38 | Quote
Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Karma: 11
haha @guitarjoe. thanks. :D
@Mistaluke hahahaha i get it... i dont know how u can make a guitar joke not cheesy haha
Mistaluke  
17 May 2010 22:33 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
haha Yup i agree.
Heather  
18 May 2010 07:58 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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Aha I think it's safe to say they're all cheesy - but that was pretty actually awesome. Gotta admit I grinned - if someone actually makes me grin or laugh online they've done well.
Mistaluke  
18 May 2010 10:23 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
:p So i did well? Nicee!
JustJeff  
18 May 2010 14:53 | Quote
Joined: way back
United States
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Karma: 21
Do you know what you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor
BodomBeachTerror  
18 May 2010 14:57 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
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hahahahahaha
Admiral  
18 May 2010 15:06 | Quote
Joined: 10 May 2009
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I quite like this one:

What happens if you play the blues backwards? Your wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of jail.
deadman2k666  
18 May 2010 15:11 | Quote
Joined: 21 Sep 2009
Canada
Lessons: 1
Karma: 2
Admiral says:
What happens if you play the blues backwards? Your wife returns, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of jail.
should be country not blues
LedZeppRox13  
18 May 2010 15:24 | Quote
Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Karma: 11
hahahaha that was a good one.
Admiral  
18 May 2010 15:40 | Quote
Joined: 10 May 2009
Germany
Lessons: 1
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I got it told this way, but yeh, country works as well i guess
Mistaluke  
18 May 2010 17:11 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
Lol I like them! O: there funny Jeffs joke made me laugh most so far
JustJeff says:
Do you know what you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor/quote]
and admiral is the 2nd best O: Lol
Afro_Raven  
18 May 2010 17:14 | Quote
Joined: way back
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Lessons: 1
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Moderator
The other night I was awoken by a knocking on the roof of my house. I looked out of the window and it was my housemate, a female singer.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Sorry" she said, "I've forgotten the key and don't know where to come in..."

Afro
Heather  
18 May 2010 17:46 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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=O Blues and Country are my favourite genres! Although now I think of it that is actually quite true of most songs - you've depressed them both for me =( Y'know, with the revelation that I mostly like angry/depressing stuff. Thanks a lot guys! =P

Afro that was funny! But now I remember I try to sing - you've also made me sad. Very sad.
Mistaluke  
18 May 2010 19:40 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
lol you guys are ruining heathers day! O:
Introspective  
18 May 2010 20:42 | Quote
Joined: 18 May 2010
Karma
*mandatory drummer swipe*

Q.What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A.You only have to punch the instructions into a drum machine once.
DarkRiff  
18 May 2010 20:58 | Quote
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
United States
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What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin ?
Who cares - neither one's a guitar

How do you know when the stage is level ?
The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ..

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune ?
Neither did I

Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners ?
So the rest of the band can understand them

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend ?
Homeless ..

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch ?
Pay for the pizza.

I heard these a little while back
Bilbo  
18 May 2010 21:11 | Quote
Joined: 17 Apr 2010
United States
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What do you call a person who hangs around musicians?

A drummer :-D

BodomBeachTerror  
18 May 2010 23:13 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
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Darkriff youre making us sound bad! positive reinforcement!
Admiral  
19 May 2010 11:34 | Quote
Joined: 10 May 2009
Germany
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Well, i got one about bassissts:
The band plays one night in a pub, the crowd goes crazy. The guitarist thinks: "wow, we are making the crowd rock. And there in the second row is that cute girl. After i puled off my solo she surely won't be able to resist me."
The drummer thinks. "Oh yeah, that goodlooking girl in the second row is definitely mine, now after my drumsolo she won't at all be able to resist me.
The bassist thinks: "G G C D, G G C D...."
Mistaluke  
19 May 2010 18:24 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
lol!!!!
guitarmastergod  
22 May 2010 09:19 | Quote
Joined: 09 Sep 2008
Canada
Karma: 8
all i knw is the jesus chord (Gsus)
JazzMaverick  
22 May 2010 11:11 | Quote
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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'cause 7 8 9!!! BAHAHAHA

*ahem*
Nightmare  
22 May 2010 17:28 | Quote
Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Lebanon
Karma: 6
Q: How does a Lead Guitarist change a lightbulb ?
A: He holds it and the world revolves around him

Q: What do vacuum cleaners and electric bass guitars have in common ?
A: When you plug them in, they suck.

Q: What do nude girls and death metal guitarists have in common?
A: They both like to drop their strings.
LedZeppRox13  
22 May 2010 19:02 | Quote
Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Karma: 11
hey those are pretty good. haha :D
EMB5490  
22 May 2010 19:49 | Quote
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
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great funny joke story from a wonderful person/musician :)

one of my favorites
Mistaluke  
22 May 2010 21:21 | Quote
Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Karma: 11
Lol!!
I like nightmares the nude girls o_o
Haha!

carlsnow  
23 May 2010 07:33 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
Joke?

mmmm


...The fact that soooo many folks out there in musick-land view :
'music theory' as 'music fact'





okay-okay !!!

.. not
a side-splitting joke(mea-culpa!, mea-culpa!)
but more a "not so funny thing that that old, grumpy, Carl Snow guy THINKS is a 'joke'", kinda joke.

SO instead of a 'Nyuk-Nyuk-Joke-Thang', I offer this Public Musicians Service Announcement:

Never, NEVER (i mean n e v e r): tell a 'drummer-joke' during practice, in "the van", on-stage, in ANY city(esp..post drinking)..etc UNLESS ya carry enough gauze, hydrogen-peroxide, rubbing-alcohol and **Duct-Tape!** to cover the retaliatory gash in your head left by a well tossed Cymbal!!! (Yup!..They have insanely good aim (and short tempers)


RAWK!(...and live to laugh about it!)
Cs


Global Disclaimer :

Carl Snow is an old, jaded & slightly bitter old man who cannot be held accountable for anything, much less his opinionatedly opinionated opinions or those of his imaginary friends. We sincerely apologize if this Carl Snow and/or its behavior have infected you or others with its ugly brain and its juices.

vincejonesiii  
26 May 2010 12:37 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
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lol carl ... why did you do that?
btimm  
26 May 2010 12:56 | Quote
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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I played drums actively for ten years. I am just learning guitar. This may be a guitar forum, but drummers are still superior. Sorry about your luck gee-tar players!!!
EMB5490  
26 May 2010 13:01 | Quote
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
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2 whales walk into a bar... the bartender asks what theyll be having the older of the wales replies: "aoroooooooooooooooooogh" whales cant talk. same ideas with drummers and musicians...

2 drummers walk into a music theory class... the teacher asks them how many sharps in a g# major scale? The older and more experienced drummer replies: "arrrggggghhhhhhhhh"

Drummers arent musicians

sorry for that very unfunny story.... but at least its true...
BodomBeachTerror  
26 May 2010 13:18 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
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how many roads must Justin Beiber walk down before you can call him a man?

none, he's too girlie to be a man

..yeah i just made that up
EMB5490  
26 May 2010 13:41 | Quote
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
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in Judaism a young boy has a bar mitzvah to become recognized as man... Justin Beiber went to have a bar mitzvah and came out a housewife. His new name is Justina Beiber, mother of 3
musictheorygeek  
23 Jun 2010 01:44 | Quote
Joined: 22 Jun 2010
United States
Karma
How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
None... The pianist will do it with his left hand.

(Aaaand, two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... BA-DUM TSHHHHH!)
GuitarGeorge  
23 Jun 2010 08:46 | Quote
Joined: 17 Jul 2009
Licks: 3
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Nice one ^^ :)

- What does a guitar have in common with a lawsuit?
- Everyone is happy when the case is closed!
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