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lyrics by J05H

Songwriting
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J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:08 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
about a guy whos banned from heaven seeking vengence on god(only a peice of full version not yet completed)

i swear to tear heaven asunder
though it may cost me my life
banished for eternal
from the palace of holy light
dark wings have torn the sky apart
and now its bleeding red
my vengence is a hunger
longing to be fed
his end will be a masterpeice
angels awaiting death
brutality, just like a beast
so magnificent
.......................

pleez comment
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:10 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
I hear Your Silence
through the cracks in the walls
through gods malevolence
the rise and fall
..........................
pleez comment
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:23 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
about cheating death


light all the torches
show me the way
srouded in darkess
an endless maze
things become clearer
theres no escape
banish the reaper
from wence he came
the light moves nearer but still so far away
i must accept my death to live another day

my sword - is stained
as i slit the reapers vains
my soul - is broken
as my final words are spoken

im bleedin
the treason (let me in)
Finding the cure
open the entrance

like flames- i burn
for the life i once had earned
my mind is taken
but my life has been mistaken
a burdin
to vanquish(make it die)
this struggle must end *symbol hiss*
LETS FINISH THIS

*breakdown*

end my life
feel my pain
torturing
endlessly
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:26 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
why do you run
why must you hide
your future sealed
your life is mine

locked in this world
trapped in this mind
theres no escape
ashes divide
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:40 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1

its beautiful song

why did it have to end like this
lips together in a six foot ditch
but the sight that brought to my heart death
was looking at you with a bullet inside your chest

tears fall from my frozen face
slow but still - so much pain
the warmth of your presence is giving me life
but the blood on my hands is haunting my mind

hypnotized by fire
ive cut my own thread of life
staring up at the clouds of heaven
watching you cry

masscare stains in the clouds
staring at your endless heartache
waiting for a chance to breath
so i may simply call your name

ill use my hellgiven wings to fly
out of these chains of torment
to the heavens so i may find
a way to hold you one last time
*chorus*
were dead now but thats easy to see
together forever just you and me

wee'll fly now its so divine
your love tastes greater than the finest wine
....................................................
pleez comment
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 00:44 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
also
check out my licks
i wrote them
they sound amazing
Phip  
11 Aug 2009 15:15 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
@JO5H,
gotta love that murder/suicide song "a beautiful song". You have a vivid imagination and pretty good skills at lyric writing! keep it up and put some notes to these beauties.
Phip
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 19:26 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
thnk u ur opinion is very much appreciated
JazzMaverick  
11 Aug 2009 19:39 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
That definitely set the mood! I now have an urge to punch something.

Your first lyrics work alongside Finntroll perfectly.
patleh  
11 Aug 2009 21:18 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
i'm a lil scared
jk great lyrics
J05H  
11 Aug 2009 23:56 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
JazzMaverick and patleh

thanx but who the *** is finntroll
AlexB  
12 Aug 2009 01:20 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
Finntroll HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Heather  
12 Aug 2009 10:37 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
I think there's a Finnish metal band called Finntroll. Here's a vid to help you get what Jazz meant.



lol I only know them because I have a rather eccentric friend who's into this sort of thing. It's better having to listen to bits of Finntroll then the better known Lady Gaga I suppose! :P

Anyway Jo5H, I love your lyrics. They really do work, they do make me feel angry! They all have sort of a grudge metal feeling going on I think. I have no suggestions! They are great, well done you're good at writing for that sort of thing clearly. I feel mad now! I don't even allow myself to listen to angry songs because, well, I get angry. VERY angry. :P
AlexB  
12 Aug 2009 13:58 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
Ozzfan486  
12 Aug 2009 14:11 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
Lolololol. An upright bass in metal haha.
J05H  
12 Aug 2009 17:23 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
thetre ok not my type o music i hate the singer

but wat did you think of my lyrics

thats why i posted this
Ozzfan486  
12 Aug 2009 18:32 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
Awsome job on the lyrics. I love the line in the last one, "Why did it have to end like this? Lips together in a six foot ditch" lol. That one was awsome.
carlsnow  
12 Aug 2009 18:44 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
J05H says:
check out my licks
i wrote them
they sound amazing


then the lyrics, by the/your same 'logic', would also "sound amazing"
AlexB  
12 Aug 2009 19:31 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
Dude how old are you?
JazzMaverick  
12 Aug 2009 19:44 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
Hahaha :D Good times, good times.

@ Alex, who were you asking?
AlexB  
12 Aug 2009 19:51 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
At JO5H haha
J05H  
12 Aug 2009 20:51 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
AlexB says:
Copy and Paste quote here!


oh im only 15 and i have a LOT of thinking time
AlexB  
12 Aug 2009 22:16 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
Yeah i can tell so
J05H  
12 Aug 2009 22:57 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
o ReAlLy??? how so
J05H  
13 Aug 2009 00:06 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
carlsnow says:
then the lyrics, by the/your same 'logic', would also "sound amazing"
WAT ? D:
carlsnow  
13 Aug 2009 06:20 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
carlsnow says:
carlsnow says:
then the lyrics, by the/your same 'logic', would also "sound amazing"

J05H says:
WAT ? D:


...that means i think you are a braggart in the making.

but yer young - you'll learn :

I did read a the lyrics two or three times and IMO you show great promise, lyrically.

It was THIS :
J05H says:
check out my licks
i wrote them
they sound amazing
that made me wince.

a few words of advice (really, not meant in a mean way) :

--- don't brag/boast about yourself, let others do that for you.
I'll use myself(instead of Phip , lol) as an 'example' of why this behavior will only impede your growth as a musician/writer.
no-one will take you seriously if you are the only one singing your praises, Dig? There are some folks , like me (and .. and..) who have been playing for TWO of your lifetimes (or more).
and we are, as it is, here to help you.
I/we feel far less inclined to give opinion/advice to a kid who seems to already think he is great or that his licks already sound "amazing".

no hard feelings Josh; just a bit of advice from an old man, thats all.


Phip  
13 Aug 2009 07:09 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
ahhh let me get this out while the alzheimers is in remission! LOL

@ Carl, Well said! Enthusiasm is good. Self promotion is ok too if you can back it up. Bragging is an invitation for someone better to take you down a few pegs and it inevitably happens because there is always someone out there better.
@ Jo5h,
keep playing, keep practicing, keep working at your music, put it out there and let the rest of the world decide how good it is. Stay humble. Anyway, Carl said it best.

consider some other fine lyrics........

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself go by
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Phip
carlsnow  
13 Aug 2009 08:00 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
---slight derail

@Phipster
(great post ...but wanna ask something else)
did Carley EVER finally say whether that was about Taylor or ..erg(alzheimers)'the other guy'(dammit whats his name???)

please continue, and pardon the interruption; there were "clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee and..."
Phip  
13 Aug 2009 08:17 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
haha nope she hasn't come clean on that yet as far as I know. the best guess is that she's singing about Mick Jaggar.
Phip
J05H  
13 Aug 2009 12:08 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
got it
carlsnow  
13 Aug 2009 12:56 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
J05H says:
got it


cool! and, while trying not to sound like an a$$hole use it! =)

@ThatOldenFartePhip

i know *(Simon tune) .. its driven me nuts since, well, since she put the damn thing out LOL

@JO5h .....again, lol

just realized ... check out the song, 'You're So Vain' that (we're only dealing w/ the *subject part o' lyric) old Phip and i have been talking about; ...damn fine lyric there!

(*Carley has basically, finally, given a sorta 2-man choice re:the subject of 'You're So Vain')

@Josh again-again

looked over all yer lyrics again ..
my constructive-criticism/advice =

-don't post anything incomplete(unless yer askin' fer help w/ it)

-try branching-out a bit, thematically
...as it is,(all IMO) you've show excellent developement of 'theme', 'character' and 'happenstance' i just advise some branching out (but not at all ceasing these posted verses from flowin)

in the/your lyrical output I've witnessed so far. you should feel good about that, you really seem to have a genuine knack (gem in rough , if ya will)of effortlessly twisting the lexicon .. impressive as a full bottle of scotch in my 'pantry'.
in other words, without sounding stupid/or caring if i do :
your BASIC writing, lyrically, is refreshingly phrased, and rare , especially coming from a 15 yr old Pen !

advice?
stick with it !
J05H  
13 Aug 2009 23:33 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
and stick with it i shall i think maybe this is because i think with an english accent and i read cradle of filth lyrics and the dictionary in my spare time
J05H  
14 Aug 2009 14:03 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
oh and carl ........ w t f is a pen
carlsnow says:
especially coming from a 15 yr old Pen
Phip  
14 Aug 2009 16:41 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
@Jo5h, you are going to crack up when I explain! Open palm to the forhead. Pen.....the thing you write with, sorta like a pencil but with ink.
What he meant is the lyrics were particularly good coming from a 15 yr old.
now repeat after me.....DUH!
LOL
Phip
"the other old guy"
J05H  
14 Aug 2009 19:19 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
but he sed 15 year old pen but im not a pen ?!?!?!?!?! im confused
Ozzfan486  
14 Aug 2009 20:09 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
It means you are good with lyrics. Pens are good with words [they write them]. You are good with lyrics. You are a Pen.


AlexB  
14 Aug 2009 23:43 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jul 2009
Mexico
Licks: 2
Karma: 23
@Ozz : HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
carlsnow  
15 Aug 2009 07:09 | Quote
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 23
i need a drink


J05H  
15 Aug 2009 13:37 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
oh ok i get it i went to a show last night

it was for a band called moria look em up they are hella bad ass if ur into hardcore death metal
J05H  
15 Aug 2009 23:53 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
new one

things are'nt as they seem to be
peice together all these lies
help me find the pointless truth
losing hope from time to time

reality lies in the hands
of vulgar and obscene
sew your eyes shut one by one
this world must not be seen

I've heard the voices
of the voice-less
ive paid the prices
now make it priceless!

[wat should go next
i want to hear your
opinion]
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