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POST YOUR JOKES!

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league  
17 Apr 2009 12:38 | Quote
Joined: way back
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 10
That blonde joke was pretty funny.
vincejonesiii  
27 Apr 2009 09:05 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 13
love the chuck noris jokes!!!!!!!!
JazzMaverick  
27 Apr 2009 17:56 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
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Karma: 47
Moderator
Two pages says that everyone else on the forum does, too.

I can't believe no one's shown the tic tac joke
Heather  
28 Apr 2009 14:40 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
Tic tac joke? Is this it?

A women, Brenda, had been married to Phil for 3 years. Phil still refused to have sexual intercourse with her without anti contraceptives. She told Phil she was taking pills to prevent her form becoming pregnant. But they were really just tic tacs. She then told Phil she was pregnant. His reaction: "You lied to me? Why didn't you say you wanted a baby?" Brenda's reply: "I didn't. I just didn't enjoy it with my *rabbit hole walls* thick and clogged up deep inside."

That's what some annoying year 8 told me the other day anyway. I didn't find that one funy, personally. I never do with many dirty jokes. You have to tell me the offical tic tac joke!
Ozzfan486  
28 Apr 2009 19:48 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
Why do so many stoners have great breath?

Well, tic tacs don't exactly look like mints now do they!? hmm?
Heather  
29 Apr 2009 09:49 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
...Nutter's jokes just bummed me out big time. Thanks a lot for sucking the fun out of all the jokes! :(
patleh  
29 Apr 2009 09:55 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
for those of you who watch 24... Why did jack bauer name his cat chuck norris. because chuck norris is a pussey.
Nutter166  
29 Apr 2009 10:57 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
Licks: 2
Karma: 14
Your welcome =]
Is my job =D
BodomBeachTerror  
29 Apr 2009 11:03 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
im not sure you understand the concept of a joke yet =p
Nutter166  
29 Apr 2009 11:52 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
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Karma: 14
I do, they made me and my college class laugh =]
I just have a very twisted and dark sense of humor.
Heather  
29 Apr 2009 14:10 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
hmmm...kind of like a South Park writer?
Nutter166  
29 Apr 2009 15:04 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
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Karma: 14
Even darker...
I could give you another example but it's racist joke...
Phip  
29 Apr 2009 19:19 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator

Heather  
30 Apr 2009 10:03 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
Now Phip's is the darkest one yet! Grief, somebody get a moderator to take that down! :D
vincejonesiii  
1 May 2009 12:40 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 13
lolz roflmao

dude nutter why you got to be all crappy and ruin all good jokes


i threw up after reading you
BARF
6StringEvil  
3 May 2009 10:03 | Quote
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
India
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
what do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them, make a tyre and call it a GoodYear.

Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
Yeah, it took two hours to get the drummer out.
Phip  
3 May 2009 19:41 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette Convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought,"What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and he pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused and said, "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"You have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.
BodomBeachTerror  
3 May 2009 19:46 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
whats the same about an elephant and a plum?

theyre both purple.... except for the elephant
telecrater  
3 May 2009 20:23 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
United States
Lessons: 8
Karma: 13
Here is my buddies website.

Make me Dinner Woman

I encourage you to check out the About Me before getting all pissed off.
vincejonesiii  
4 May 2009 07:42 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 13
ive heard the state trooper one about 4 yrs ago but its sstill funny LOLZ

lvl 43 undead warrior NOW !
Afro_Raven  
4 May 2009 08:29 | Quote
Joined: way back
United Kingdom
Lessons: 1
Karma: 20
Moderator
Why did the pervert cross the road?

His d*** was stuck in the chicken.
J05H  
5 May 2009 00:20 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
two guys go hunting with a sniper rifle. one guy looks through the scope and sais to the other "i can see you wife from here...AND SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU!!!!"the other guy(outraged)sais "i want you to shoot her in the head and him in the ***!!" the other guy sais "I can get that in one shot" XD
J05H  
5 May 2009 00:36 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
if god made us then who made god



chuck norris
J05H  
5 May 2009 00:37 | Quote
Joined: 04 May 2009
United States
Karma: 1
there was acctually 4 wise men... the forth being chuck norris bringing the gift of a beard
6StringEvil  
8 May 2009 01:45 | Quote
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
India
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
A funny mail i got at work...


vincejonesiii  
8 May 2009 07:37 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
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Karma: 13
loll thats funny
vincejonesiii  
8 May 2009 07:39 | Quote
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 13
Heather says:
Tic tac joke? Is this it?

A women, Brenda, had been married to Phil for 3 years. Phil still refused to have sexual intercourse with her without anti contraceptives. She told Phil she was taking pills to prevent her form becoming pregnant. But they were really just tic tacs. She then told Phil she was pregnant. His reaction: "You lied to me? Why didn't you say you wanted a baby?" Brenda's reply: "I didn't. I just didn't enjoy it with my *rabbit hole walls* thick and clogged up deep inside."

That's what some annoying year 8 told me the other day anyway. I didn't find that one funy, personally. I never do with many dirty jokes. You have to tell me the offical tic tac joke!quote]

i didnt get that at all
soy.el.che  
28 May 2009 19:09 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
Karma: 9
Momy, momy, does grandma knows mechanics?
no, why
I just saw her under a truck!

Mom, somebody hit me at school.
Who was it?
i dont know
Then how are we going to recognize him?
Well..... i have his ear, does it helps?

Mom, i swear that when my fingers grow i wont put them on the food processing machine

Empirism  
29 May 2009 13:13 | Quote
Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Finland
Lessons: 4
Karma: 35
Well, these are not actually jokes but dang funny. So heres couple movies :D





BodomBeachTerror  
29 May 2009 13:42 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
haha those were awesome! loved the daddy long legs xD

reminds me of this
soy.el.che  
29 May 2009 14:19 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
Karma: 9
i had seen th spiders on drugs vid before, and, once i had a school project and i proposed doing that but with rats. Most students in my class voted for my proposal and it won. They didnt let us do it because of possible unethical treatment of animals. that sucked so much.
league  
29 May 2009 17:02 | Quote
Joined: way back
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 10
This is a Disney joke.

Mickey: Hey Minnie, I want to f@#k you in the ear.

Minnie: What! Are you fu@#ing crazy?

Mickey: No I'm fu@#ing Daisy.
patleh  
29 May 2009 17:05 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lulzers league
league  
29 May 2009 17:30 | Quote
Joined: way back
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 10
I got a funnier one although it fits in the racist/sexist category.

So this guy asks his friend for work.
The friend hires him at a discount store.

The friend begins teaching the guy about "chain sales" in which the employee tries to get the customer to buy a related product in order to sell more.

This man walks into the store and asks for some window cleaner. The friend, who is also a pro at chain selling, tries to sell him some furniture polish. The customer says "I don't need this"

The clerk says "Well when you try to clean your windows the dirt and cleaner will fall on your furniture"

The customer is convinced and buys the polish and leaves happy.

In walks a lady. She says "I need some tampons" the clerk thinks for a second and gives her some window cleaner and furniture polish.

The lady is confused. She says "What! I don't need this"

The clerk says" You sure do if you're not gonna be fu@#ing for five days"
patleh  
29 May 2009 17:42 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
lulzasourasrex
Mici  
25 Sep 2009 10:34 | Quote
Joined: way back
Kosovo
Karma: 9
Nutter, can you please PM me that joke. I wasn't around when you posted it.
ironman91313  
26 Sep 2009 10:13 | Quote
Joined: 18 Jun 2008
United States
Karma: 2
- How do you make a clown cry?
- Kill his family


- Why did the little girl fall off the swing set?
- She didn't have arms


- Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone?
- He got hit by a car
Domigan_Lefty  
26 Sep 2009 15:13 | Quote
Joined: 20 Sep 2009
United States
Karma: 8
Why do most guitars have cutouts?
So you can shove your hand up in it.

Why did the psp burst into flames? Because it was thrown in a fire

Why did the homo buy a Nintendo? Because it Sücks
raptorclaws  
26 Sep 2009 19:40 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Canada
Karma: 1
I once visited Beethoven's grave in Germany. There was a sign telling visitors to put their ear to the ground which I did. It was kind of spooky because strange music was coming up from his grave ...first Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy' playing backwards... his 6th Symphony playing backwards and so forth on to the famouse 5th playing backwards... etc. Really eerie.

I was spooked and asked one of the local tourist guides about it and he said not to worry...'it's just Beethoven decomposing'.
BodomBeachTerror  
26 Sep 2009 19:49 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
hahaha
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