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A Revision

Songwriting
Ozzfan486  
16 Dec 2008 20:45 | Quote
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Of that song I posted last. If you become confused and can't understand were I'm coming from....good. Use your imagination, and draw conclusions, paint a mental picture. Its more fun, believe me.

Everything [Was For Nothing]

I've seen fukked up confrontations
I've seen mass hullusinations
I heard miscommunications
But none compare to my own

And when you left me out there all alone
Out there on my own
left to fend for me all alone
wondering the nation
I've begun to lose my patience
as my sense of safety is erasin'
and ain't a goddamm way to chase it

N' In this hairy situation
I have found the combination
and ***ed up the whole nation
the nation in my mind

It was a state of mind
a place were I always went to hide
to break out from this life
like a little boy and his bike

And I know it isn't right
but all I wanna do is fight

Fight one
fight two
fight three

Fight them
fight you
fight me

-Solo-

And it makes me sad to see
what has become of me
But its making me feel good
to see whats become of you

You make me want to throw a fit
You sit there laughing over it
..pathetic sack of ***

But just what made you spit?
Spit right in my face
like a lethal can of mace
as my efforts drifted into space
All that time I put to waste
All my intentions thrown in my face
by
you.........
patleh  
16 Dec 2008 20:49 | Quote
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I am liking the revisions a lot
Ozzfan486  
16 Dec 2008 20:50 | Quote
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Thanks man.
les_paul  
16 Dec 2008 20:58 | Quote
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I like it. Has a Kid Rock feel to it but it works.
Keep'em comin
Ozzfan486  
16 Dec 2008 20:59 | Quote
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Kid Rock? lol.
les_paul  
16 Dec 2008 21:02 | Quote
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Just in my head it sounds like something someone like Kid Rock would do. I didn't mean it as an insult. That's just the feel I got from reading it, I'm sure it would sound totaly different if I could hear it.
TheAmericanBrit  
16 Dec 2008 22:29 | Quote
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SOMEONE got kicked out of mom and dad's house, huh...
Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 08:39 | Quote
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lol. It does sound like that now that I think of it. Thats not what happened though. Good job though, you did what I said to do.

@ Les Paul - Its not insulting really. I like Kid Rock, but I wasn't going for that kind of sound. Listen to the last half of "Coma" by Guns N' Roses. I guess thats similar to the rhythm to this.
Heather  
17 Dec 2008 16:19 | Quote
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Sorry, too many swears! I can't allo myself to even so much as read '****' for example. I wasn't even brought up too be that way, I just am naturally a no swearer!

...that's also probebly why every song I do sounds soft.
EMB5490  
17 Dec 2008 16:31 | Quote
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i swear all the time ( not at people just habit i guess a nasty one at that) but id never use it in lyrics (just my preference) if you think it makes you cool it doesnt. now on that, you do have some ****ed up lyrics lol jk.
patleh  
17 Dec 2008 16:42 | Quote
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yes i must admit i don't like swearing a lot. it's fine, but when people do it all the time i think it just makes them look kind of immature. But i don't really understand why they are swears in the first place. What makes them different from any other word? but on that note any word used to much can get annoying.
Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 17:17 | Quote
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You know, in the bible, its says not to swear. It also says not to judge. See anything that stands out there? Anyways, I write what I feel, and what comes to me first. If [like inthis case] the first thing sucks, I move to the second one. Which in this case worked [for me]. Swearing? I see no big deal. Besides, were half of the "Innapropriate" words we use today even around in ancient years? Most likely not.
patleh  
17 Dec 2008 18:22 | Quote
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Ozzfan true
in the old days they were regular words, but since our society thinks they're so smart they took old words and made them the bad words we know today.
BodomBeachTerror  
17 Dec 2008 18:38 | Quote
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cursing would be anything that you would say out of hate or anger
Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 18:42 | Quote
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AGHH! Whatever!! lol. I don't literally try to CURSE anyone. But I'll put a spell on yooooouuuuu!!!!!! lol.
TheAmericanBrit  
17 Dec 2008 18:59 | Quote
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BodomBeachTerror says:
cursing would be anything that you would say out of hate or anger



Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 19:02 | Quote
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???
BodomBeachTerror  
17 Dec 2008 19:03 | Quote
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yessss *clenches fist in victory*
Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 19:23 | Quote
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There wasn't a competition. Nobody won anything.
BodomBeachTerror  
17 Dec 2008 19:24 | Quote
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how come tiger woods gets to clench his fist and i dont? =(
Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 19:31 | Quote
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TheAmericanBrit  
17 Dec 2008 19:56 | Quote
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^


Ozzfan486  
17 Dec 2008 19:58 | Quote
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wtf?
Heather  
18 Dec 2008 12:28 | Quote
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Well for the record I'm athiest before I continue. But I hate swearing, it supposedly to the christians as far as I know condems anyone or thing with in ear shot to hell. But I maiunly just hate what the official words mean most of all, so I replace them. I've gotton into the constant habbit of 'Son of a gun/barstuart (bar stuart said in a certain way), shoot, feck, dang, darn, peeved, bogged and beach.' Hard at first, now I'm happy with the replacements, no matter how corny they may sound!
Ozzfan486  
18 Dec 2008 17:42 | Quote
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lol Heaher. Hey? Whatever fries yer chicken ya know? lol.
EMB5490  
18 Dec 2008 17:50 | Quote
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cooks your hen...dips your wings...
Ozzfan486  
18 Dec 2008 18:15 | Quote
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haha.


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