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Miscommunication Breakdown

Songwriting
Ozzfan486  
12 Dec 2008 18:55 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
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Karma: 18
Well I've seen fukked up confrontations
I've seen mass hullusinations
I've heard miscommunications
But none compare to my ooowwwn

I'm in a hairy situation
As I've found the combination
n' Fukked up the whole nation

Now I guess I'll just be patient
As my lifes erased for you
I feel like I'm a seven-year-old boy
In a catholic priest commune

The agents on my tail
I guessed that I have failed
I'm just gonna bail now baby
But you can't care cos' you still hate me

[Guitar solo/piano part]

I'm sorry for what I've done to you
I know it ain't too fukkin' fun for you
And this message my have been stunning ta you
But, I want you to know that everything I've said is true

Forgive me or forget me
I'm always here for you......







****ty Lyricist's Note - The title was not meant as a Zeppelin rip off, it just came to me.

Ozz
patleh  
12 Dec 2008 19:15 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
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Good tempo and ryme. But i just wasn't really understanding the song. It feels like some of those lines you only inserted to make it ryme.

Cool though.
Ozzfan486  
12 Dec 2008 19:30 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Karma: 18
Yeah, I know. I didn't push them though, they just popped into my head. The way I see it, If you can make a song mean something, and have good rhythm, its pretty good.

I haven't decided what genre this is though yet. Thinkin' Gn'R-ish rock. Like The Use Your Illusion albums, type of sound.
Ozzfan486  
12 Dec 2008 21:35 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Karma: 18
Actually, the line abot the seven year old, and the catholic commune was pushed, but for comical reasons. I'm a big fan of sarcasm combined with seriousness. Idk.

And I actually messed up this song. I conjoined it with a more balladacious song I have been wanting to do, by accident. I think I'll use some of this one as a chorus and put more of a beginning and end to it by tomorow. I'll have it up ASAP.
patleh  
12 Dec 2008 21:54 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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i think a Guns and Roses type riff would go great with this peice.
EMB5490  
12 Dec 2008 21:58 | Quote
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
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idk bout the title. too much of a copy of "communication breakdown" by led zeppelin.
Ozzfan486  
13 Dec 2008 11:07 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Karma: 18
I know. It wasn't meant to be like that, I just couldn't think of anything else. Suggestions?

@ Pat - Yeah I thought so too. I'm coming pretty close too getting it too.
Ozzfan486  
14 Dec 2008 20:07 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Karma: 18
Any help? And I'm actually wondering about something, when I'm in a band, does the guitarist do a good bit of the lyrics or mostly just stick to guitar?
patleh  
14 Dec 2008 20:10 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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It varies. though most of my favourite bands, the guitarists writes most of the songs.
Ozzfan486  
14 Dec 2008 20:47 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Karma: 18
Huh. I think I'm just gonna drop this piece. When I get sommething with more of a set, and occuring theme, I'll write it. I need some time to think.
telecrater  
14 Dec 2008 21:08 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
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Lessons: 8
Karma: 13
don't drop it, re-wright it.
patleh  
14 Dec 2008 22:00 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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yeah don't just forget about things or idea's just leave them alone for a little and then go back to them.
Ozzfan486  
15 Dec 2008 06:41 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
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Okay. I'll try it.


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