new transposer      circle of 5ths    wap


The first verse and chorus of a song called

Technique
patleh  
5 Dec 2008 21:19 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
The channel?


I woke up hot then cold
I dont know what i was told
I couldnt turn on the tele set
and the only channel i could get---
was only ominous static
it was facinatingly eratic
No words were ever spoken
it' soul must of been broken
And the only character was nothing
and his angle was troubling
the scene looked very dim
the only thing there, was him.
its a channel full of snow
the flakes have an eary glow


Is this channel alive or
is it just fuzz
Watch and you'll know
what it does
All other channels have been distant
But this one it's been very persistant.




Please any suggestions or dislikes?
JazzMaverick  
6 Dec 2008 04:01 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
First lyrics I've read that are talking about a TV. Your rhyming is good and it links togther well. Keep it up.
patleh  
6 Dec 2008 22:24 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
I was actually thinking about making it the opening song to a rock opera i've been thinking of making. Because now im just playing a few gigs at parties and ***. but i want to take more of a mature approach to my career.
soy.el.che  
7 Dec 2008 09:37 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
Karma: 9
lol
JazzMaverick  
7 Dec 2008 12:16 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
Give it some time, ask people you know about the lyrics. Do you feel confident showing it to them? why? ask stuff so you're prepared for the future.
Ozzfan486  
7 Dec 2008 17:23 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
See everyone, porno makes your eyes go bad! Take Pat for example, all he can see is snow and static! lol. Jokin'. Cool song dude. VERY original.
patleh  
7 Dec 2008 17:50 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
Ozzfan486 says:
See everyone, porno makes your eyes go bad! Take Pat for example, all he can see is snow and static! lol. Jokin'. Cool song dude. VERY original.

hahaaha
blackholesun  
7 Dec 2008 18:32 | Quote
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
United Kingdom
Licks: 1
Karma: 11
Moderator
I like it, but a few of the rhymes (like the last line) seem a little bit forced. The lyrics remind me a bit of "Fear Of A Blank Planet" by Porcupine Tree. Let us know how it goes.

What genre is it by the way?
patleh  
7 Dec 2008 19:35 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
this song is sort of a cross between classical and a metal sound.
BodomBeachTerror  
7 Dec 2008 20:30 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
hmm not exactly a common metal lyrical theme. but its quite interesting
Ozzfan486  
7 Dec 2008 20:51 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
Classical n' metal? I was thinking folk lol. If you put metal style music behind it and then find a good rhythm it should be pretty cool.
patleh  
7 Dec 2008 21:39 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
actually i mean more of classical chords with metal distortion.
Heather  
9 Dec 2008 15:36 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
I like it! It does seem like rock too...only for some reason I read it too fast and it became rap, ha! That confuesed me, but I bet that was my fault there.

The song made me think of how people get in a long trance watching TV, these lines mainly:
'Is this channel alive or
is it just fuzz
Watch and you'll know
what it does '
Ozzfan486  
9 Dec 2008 15:42 | Quote
Joined: 01 Oct 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 18
lol. Yeah, thats what I do too Heather. Pat, your songs just rhyme really well that when you read them they turn to rap, and still sound GOOD. lol. How do you do it? haha
soy.el.che  
9 Dec 2008 15:47 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
Karma: 9
hey, i liked it, i played it and already made my own version of the song.lol. whats ur name, so i can say who invented the song when i play it on madison square garden next week.
yep, i liked it
patleh  
9 Dec 2008 16:14 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
Pat lehamn from wilmington delaware.
patleh  
18 Dec 2008 23:00 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
the chords go

Dm(whammy) Dm(whammy) Dm(Whammy)
Verses: D D D D4
D D D D2
Chorus: D D D D2 D4
D D D D4 D6
TheAmericanBrit  
19 Dec 2008 00:34 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
United States
Karma: 1
You're not a songwriter - you're a poet.

You're "lyrics" are nice, but I'm just not into them as songs.
patleh  
19 Dec 2008 07:50 | Quote
Joined: 05 Dec 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 8
dude, i like you. your honest, other people lie and say they like stuff when they really don't think anything of it at all.


Copyright © 2004-2017 All-Guitar-Chords.com. All rights reserved.