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what do you think of these lyrics...

Songwriting
baudelaire  
31 Aug 2008 22:37 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
LET IT BURN

and if you leave
what do you think you will see
do you know what you want
what you're going to be
and now if you go
where the lonesome wind blows
only to find yourself
still merged in the flow
what then will you say
when your dreams become grey
and you hear no answer
from your idol of clay

don't ask me for the answers
cause i'm just passing through
don't go back you had your chance
and now we've got to let it burn
we've got to let it burn
let it burn

when will you ask
was it worth the price
to lose all your hope
and turn your heart to ice
and when will you know
it's all just a show
and you're the main star
but you left long ago
now what can you do
since you know it is true
but have not the strength
to start life anew

don't ask me for the answers
cause i don't have a single one
don't go back you had your chance
now let the world take its turn
we've got to let it burn
let it burn


i have a melody, it's in Dorian, it's a I-V-VII-II, but i am going to make the II major, out of key. it makes sort of a quit unrest, and feels aeolian because of the VII-II.

the whole song is backed by warm, clean whole note triads, strummed slowly, with a fast but shallow vibrato. the lead guitar throughout is crisp and clean with a medium chorus, slowly accentuating the chords and melody, except for right after 'let it burn', where it becomes a fast and transparent pentatonic marshall crunch deal. the second chorus transitions into a short and anthemic solo. nothing long and indulgent, just quick and memorable.

i'd let you all listen to it, but i am currently out of money. i need a smartmedia reader, and a larger smartmedia card to get it off my digital studio thing and onto the internet. i'll get it eventually.
crislyn23_nt  
31 Aug 2008 22:53 | Quote
Joined: 05 Jun 2008
United States
Karma
awesome man!!! reminds me of let it burn by usher, hahaha RNB
RelaxedDude  
31 Aug 2008 23:55 | Quote
Joined: 26 May 2008
United States
Licks: 2
Karma: 3
Haha dude, just type the song name into like itunes or google, then you can find out if theres another one with the same name
Crunch  
1 Sep 2008 00:05 | Quote
Joined: 31 Jul 2007
United States
Karma: 3
Let it burn, let it burn, there will be an arson conv... wait a second. I have been had!
crislyn23_nt  
1 Sep 2008 07:41 | Quote
Joined: 05 Jun 2008
United States
Karma
you can call it "weve got to", "let it" or "got to" which is the part right before let it burn, hehehe
Nutter166  
1 Sep 2008 08:05 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
Licks: 2
Karma: 14
.-. suprised no ones said this yet:
'The roof, the roof,
the roof is on fire!
We don't need no water let the mothaf-er burn!'
^regular chant when I have fire around my mates hahahaha =]

nice lyrics and there is a flow..but there rather empty, like no real scenery (damn it I can't spell) just the idea that someone or something has lost something...
CTown  
1 Sep 2008 09:23 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
The Cure have a song called "Burn"... the name shouldn't be that big of a deal. Rest of the lyrics don't sound like Usher's or the Cure's, so I wouldn't just ditch the song b/c it's not quite as original as you previously thought. The lyrics are OK... a bit vanilla and simple. Was that necessary to fit the melody?
telecrater  
1 Sep 2008 11:50 | Quote
Joined: 13 Jan 2008
United States
Lessons: 8
Karma: 13
yeah it's not a real original name but it does not mean it's a bad title or hook.
JazzMaverick  
2 Sep 2008 07:59 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
Would love to hear it when you get the money. Really like the lyrics, man. Along with the chord progression, tried to play what i could to get an idea of how it goes (of course, it's different but same progression) but I really like it. Keep it up! Audacity is the cheap way to record your music :-P At least then we could all hear it. :-D
Nightmare  
2 Sep 2008 16:58 | Quote
Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Lebanon
Karma: 6
well not bad, no really nice.. u dont need to be serious about the title, but u can make it like more humorous or sarcastic, just like The Devil Wears Prada's songs titles "This Song is Called" or "Swords, Dragons, and Diet Coke" or "You Can't Spell Crap Without a C", be creative...i like that part of yours
"don't go back you had your chance
now let the world take its turn"
but you still need a phrase that people whould repeat, cause you see "let it burn" is kinda dull and old.. heres some examples so u would get my point but they arent compatible with your song but just to make my point clear
"Theres no stronger drug than reality" Nevermore
"If you want peace, prepare for war" Children Of Bodom
"This war with myself never ends, the only way id return is to an orchestra of wolves" I Killed The Prom Queen
"We're composing are funera, note by note" The Devil Wears Prada
or maybe some nice chorus
"Don't believe the mask, it adapts to any lie, A perfect ten,
when reality caves in
Don't tell me, tell my ghost,'cause I blame him, for all I don't want to know" In Flames

league  
2 Sep 2008 18:31 | Quote
Joined: way back
United States
Lessons: 2
Karma: 10
"Killing is my Business and Business is Good" is a good straightforward title.
Although "So Far, So Good, So What" sounds like a Hip-Hop title.


@ Baudelaire: The lyrics sound good but kind of Victorian at times which sounds kind of cheesey. The music could make it sound better.

@ Nightmare: No offense but "The Devil Wears Prada" is a ultra gay name for a band, Although it may have been a joke. The band memberes look gay or at least Metrosexual. Unfortunately, I have said all this without listening to their music.
baudelaire  
2 Sep 2008 18:40 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
i know, the chorus has to go, it has to be made into a hook that really grabs you.

i don't have any interest in making humor a part of music. that's... low.

i have a hard time writing poetry that sounds 'modern', simply because most of the poetry i read is 17, 18 and 19th century poetry... if you want to hear victorian, you should read some of the stuff i didn't make with the intent to be sold to a modern audience...
GRX40  
2 Sep 2008 18:50 | Quote
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 2
I liked it. It's good straight forward lyrics. And I really like the line about "idol of clay". It just kind of jumped at me for some reason.

I can't wait to hear it.
Nightmare  
2 Sep 2008 19:55 | Quote
Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Lebanon
Karma: 6
Well i dunno when it comes for me im gonna stick to the 21st century i dun mean only about the victorian thing.. i dun mean like humor humor.. i mean like some reality with sarcasm in the lyrics

-league : The Devil Wears Prada is a books name plus stick to ure Hip-Hop titles cause theyre not gay at all!!
Nightmare  
2 Sep 2008 20:18 | Quote
Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Lebanon
Karma: 6
heres a perfect example for what i mean. three songs for "I Killed The Prom Queen" all in the same album... check out each song and see the different types of lyrics

http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/ikilledthepromqueen/musicfortherecentlydeceased.html#1

http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/ikilledthepromqueen/musicfortherecentlydeceased.html#4

http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/ikilledthepromqueen/musicfortherecentlydeceased.html#5
baudelaire  
2 Sep 2008 23:13 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
i hate those lyrics, i hate humor in music, i hate people that iconize the nightmare before christmas, i hate people that are modern, the devil wears prada is a TERRIBLE book, and a terrible name.

thanks for the input people... i promise i'll have it for you all eventually. it may be a month or two, but it'll get there.
Nightmare  
3 Sep 2008 07:18 | Quote
Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Lebanon
Karma: 6
well i dont hate people that are modern, and i was just trying to help ..anyways good luck
JazzMaverick  
3 Sep 2008 13:32 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
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Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
hahaha love your comments Baudelaire. I think the chorus is awesome the way it is, but it is your song, and I'm like that. If I don't like something I make sure to change it even if someone else likes it. Since it's mine, and I want to like it myself.

I don't think you need to make it modern though, if what you like and read is from those centuries, go right ahead and write like that. I think it's pretty awesome.
TheAmericanBrit  
3 Sep 2008 13:34 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
United States
Karma: 1
I agree with Baud's last post.

However, humor in music is quite ok.
Empirism  
3 Sep 2008 16:48 | Quote
Joined: 23 Jun 2008
Finland
Lessons: 4
Karma: 35
Some cool rhymic stuff on it,

"what then will you say
when your dreams become grey
and you hear no answer
from your idol of clay"

perfect :)

but in other hand it left me a little confused what its all about, maybe because my english is not perfect. Cant wait for the release. Keep it up.

Cheers!
baudelaire  
4 Sep 2008 02:10 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
revision.

and if you leave
what do you think you will see
do you know what you want
what you're going to be
and now if you go
where the orphan wind blows
only to find yourself
still merged in the flow
what then will you say
when your dreams become grey
and you hear no answer
from your idol of clay

baby, you had your chance
at this mindless, mortal dance
your numbers up, it's your turn
now you've got to let it burn
come on, let it burn!
let it burn!

and when will you ask
was it all worth the price
to abandon your hope
and turn your heart to ice
and when will you know
that it's all just a show
and you're the main star
but you left long ago
and now what can you do
since you know it is true
but have not the strength
to start your life anew

now we've all had our chance
to win or lose this mortal dance
now let the world take it's turn
now let the poisoned earth burn
come on, let it burn!
let it burn!



you know, about the name, fuck it all to hell. i wrote the song, and then looked it over, and decided to call it 'let it burn'. that's how it stays, all the other people that have songs named that can suck my dick if they don't like it.
TheAmericanBrit  
4 Sep 2008 02:18 | Quote
Joined: 03 Sep 2008
United States
Karma: 1
That's the spirit!

JazzMaverick  
4 Sep 2008 09:36 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
haha! Too true! Yeah, I think sticking to that name is fine. Nothing wrong with it in the first place.

What's your genre? I think this verson is awesome too.
baudelaire  
4 Sep 2008 11:41 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
umm... 'diverse alternative' might best suit a description of my style.

thanks for the feedback.
JazzMaverick  
4 Sep 2008 13:10 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
Interesting style, I'd love to hear your music sometime. Do you have a myspace or anything like that?
Heather  
7 Sep 2008 14:39 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
baudelaire says:
you know, about the name, fuck it all to hell. i wrote the song, and then looked it over, and decided to call it 'let it burn'. that's how it stays, all the other people that have songs named that can suck my dick if they don't like it.quote]

That's rude! fEck and dyke/bannana, but good thing you won't get put down by complainers mind...but still very rude!
baudelaire  
7 Sep 2008 17:38 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
i honestly don't care.

learn to write better english, too. you barely make any sense at all.
CTown  
8 Sep 2008 01:45 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
I like the revision much better. Excellent job.
Heather  
9 Sep 2008 16:23 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
See! Your mean! You only insult people for no reason, I shall dang you to feck in heck!
baudelaire  
9 Sep 2008 22:32 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
woah, deja vu.

i find myself not caring again.
Heather  
10 Sep 2008 05:20 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
Good for you. Grr, you big meanie!
JazzMaverick  
10 Sep 2008 13:27 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
Even though I found that funny, she's 14 man, she's still young and still in school. Everyone starts somewhere, with everything.

Have you written more to your song? Or are you keeping it at that? I'd like to hear it when you're done, as I'm sure we all would.
baudelaire  
10 Sep 2008 16:23 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
i finished it up, but i am still looking for a job, so, it'll be awhile until i can get it to yall.
JazzMaverick  
6 Oct 2008 11:41 | Quote
Joined: 28 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Lessons: 24
Licks: 37
Karma: 47
Moderator
No problem, I'll be looking forward to hearing it!


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