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Finially decided to post some lyrics

Songwriting
CTown  
22 Aug 2008 00:05 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
If you have some time, take a look and let me know your thoughts. In full disclosure, I've been writing and rewriting some of these songs for 3 years or so (and they aren't even complex songs) and still not all that thrilled w/ them . Fresh eyes, I think, would probably be good for them.

"Marita"
Strumming on Marita, just to listen to her howl
She hums my tune flawlessly, but itís all just for me.
Cause thereís no one here around me. They canít hear me sing
And itís just as good, I got nothing to say; Iím still far too naive
No clue where Iím going, hardly know where I am.
Is this life I lead the life for me? Or should I just hop on that plane.

I donít know, I donít know, why youíre crying
Cause Iíve never been in love. Cause Iíve never been in love.
My heart is just a void
But I keep on playing guitarÖ Wasting time away
And just enjoying the rhythm in my life.

Strumming on Marita, cause I donít know what else to do
I canít fall asleep right now, and I donít want to finish school
Cause I know Iím going to miss you all and the great times at Mollyís
But we gotta grow up sometime and become responsible
Weíll do the nine to five thing. Maybe a wife and kids.
Youíll forget about our college days till you hear about my funeral

In the time that I have, I hope to find her
But if I never fall in love. But if I never fall in love.
Would my life be lived in vain?
So I keep on playing guitar. Wondering just where you are
And just enjoying every moment of my life
baudelaire  
22 Aug 2008 00:15 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
i can't personally say i'm thrilled with this either. what poets do you read?
Heather  
22 Aug 2008 06:10 | Quote
Joined: 21 Aug 2008
United Kingdom
Licks: 2
Karma: 19
Okay, if you want to give this a try I was always told to start off with 4 lines in each chorous and verse, it's go in a pattern like for example line 1 could ryme with 3 and 2 and 4 could ryme, but then if you later look at it you easily can decide you might want to expand it, words tend to make easy sense and fit together and you get better an better when you do that I find.

Hope that helps you anyway. Just write words that ryme to star with, then senstences at random, then select what makes sense with another and can leave some out that don't but always keep the notes inmind.
Phip  
22 Aug 2008 06:17 | Quote
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
United States
Lessons: 1
Karma: 45
Moderator
Ok, how about a little twist? Maybe because who you are Marita IS your wife (life)?
change each instance of "guitar" to Marita. ie the last two lines....

So I keep on playing Marita. Wondering just where you are
And sweet Marita, Marita is my life

Something along those lines would require a bit of drastic rewrite but it has the potential for a love song to the beauty of music and your guitar. yes? maybe?
Phip
CTown  
22 Aug 2008 11:48 | Quote
Joined: 14 Jul 2008
United States
Licks: 1
Karma: 1
Phip, I like that idea and think Iíll try running with it. The song was really about the changes life throws at you and the people who come into and fall out of your life as you make these transitions. Guess thatís what happens when I put something down and come back to it so much later.

My poets? I really haven't read much poetry in a long time (probably to my detriment). The rare occasions I afford myself time to read, I usually pick up classic novels. My favorite book is Dumasí Count of Monte Cristo and when I started writing the above lyrics, I think I was reading War and Peace. Poetry plays little role in my workÖI like to write in prose, fit to the chords progressions and use duel meanings/puns... Iím more concentrated on substance over form. And this was the first stab at song writing I ever took.
baudelaire  
22 Aug 2008 13:37 | Quote
Joined: 16 Aug 2008
Brazil
Karma: 2
ctown, if you want to write lyrics/poetry, (for they are they same thing) you really ought to develop a kinship and love for prose. a person that never listens to music wouldn't be a very creative musician. a person that never reads poetry won't be a very creative poet.

i suggest you start with the poetry of edgar allen poe, and lord byron, then move on to wilde, ts eliot, blake, keats, whatever you seem to enjoy. really read and examine great poetry, try to internalize what makes it great.
BodomBeachTerror  
24 Aug 2008 01:51 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
Licks: 1
Karma: 25
there are LOTS of good lyricists that probly havnt read any poetry


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