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I'm Sorry (new song)

Songwriting
GuitarBoy666  
9 Jun 2008 19:50 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
My new song I just wrote,
I know it sucks aha but I want feedback on it what do YOU think of it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[VERSE 1]
Iím sorry for wasting your time
Iím sorry for being so out of line
Iím sorry for what Iíve said
Iím sorry Iím fucked up in the head

Even though I meant it
With all my heart and soul
These words are the only thing
The only thing I know

I wish you could forget
I wish I didnít let you
Get into my heart
You tore me apart

[CHORUS]
Iíd walk through hell and back
To forget my past
And Iíd do it all for you
ĎCause when I close my eyes
All I see...
Is you...

[VERSE 2]
I need you in this world
I need you by my side
When I said youíre perfect
You know I havenít lied
I wonder to myself sometimes
Do you ever think about me?
When Iím not around?
I know it hurts to know

That something that I lost
Never will be found
And for the most part
If I lost you...

[CHORUS]
Iíd walk through hell and back
To forget my past
And Iíd do it all for you
ĎCause when I close my eyes
All I see...
Is you...

[BRIDGE]
Iím sorry youíre so perfect
Iím sorry I feel this way
Iím sorry for what happened the other day
And that time I acted like an ass
But I want you to know

[CHORUS/OUTRO]
Iíd walk through hell and back
To forget my past
And Iíd do it all for you
ĎCause when I close my eyes
All I see...
Is you...


EDIT: Dammit! I put this in Songwriting how the hell did it go here?
Can a mod please move this? Thanks.
Doz  
9 Jun 2008 19:56 | Quote
Joined: way back
United Kingdom
Karma: 10
Movedddd.
ThePusher  
9 Jun 2008 20:41 | Quote
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Canada
Lessons: 3
Karma: 3
rippin on Buckcherry slightly
GuitarBoy666  
9 Jun 2008 21:02 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Oh yeah aha I see what you mean dude,
Cause in Sorry by them they say I'm sorry a lot.
And the "I'm sorry about all the things i said to you"
Maybe I should edit it some more,
But I would like more feedback so yea
BodomBeachTerror  
9 Jun 2008 21:12 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
Lessons: 2
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thats deep. i like it =D
Skold  
9 Jun 2008 22:30 | Quote
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
United States
Karma: 3
Well, I haven't really been in your shoes, so I don't really know what it's pertaining to, or what it means to you. In that sense, I can't say anything about it, really.

However, I'm not particularly a fan of it. For one, I think the phrase "through hell and back" has been beaten like a dead horse. I'm just not really into it.

But, there are some songs by The Beatles that I DON'T like, and others I do. So, maybe you have other songs that I will like.
ThePusher  
10 Jun 2008 01:29 | Quote
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Canada
Lessons: 3
Karma: 3
yeah dude it needs more editting but a good ass start and I'm sure the Buckcherry was a "Subliminal" screw up
Skold  
10 Jun 2008 02:08 | Quote
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
United States
Karma: 3
Why edit it? I'm sure the Buckcherry feller was just playing and writing what he heard in his record collection like the rest of us.
ThePusher  
10 Jun 2008 03:08 | Quote
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Canada
Lessons: 3
Karma: 3
dude Buckcherry is a band for one, secondly it was a huge hit dude like top 10 hit a couple months back so it's just noticable and I don't think Sorry the song was written when Josh Todd was listening to records
Skold  
10 Jun 2008 03:34 | Quote
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
United States
Karma: 3
Well, forgive me, master. For I know not about a band.

Either way, it's not like he's gonna get sued. Plus, he can just say it's a tribute, if he does.
ThePusher  
10 Jun 2008 04:14 | Quote
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Canada
Lessons: 3
Karma: 3
yeah okay maybe it isn't close enough to be called plagiarism but I'd say that most people if they gave it a quick glance they'd call it a rip, and if they were in the industry of music they'd not to offend GB and not to knock it, it's one of those songs that's a dime a dozen I know that sounds harsh and I don't mean it too but its the truth
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 04:49 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Well yeah maybe by a quick glance, but, if they heard the song and how it's supposed to go, I think they would change their opinion because the melody is soooo much different than Buckcherry's

And basically the song's about this guy who made himself look stupid in front of a girl he likes, and he feels like he wasted all her time because he doesn't deserve her, but still he still has those feelings
Skold  
10 Jun 2008 05:05 | Quote
Joined: 14 Mar 2008
United States
Karma: 3
Oh, I'm not saying the song is great/good or anything. I'm just saying that he shouldn't be afraid of it sounding like a rip off.

Now, there is a line. You should be ashamed of yourself if you rip-off something like that Kiss song and be like, "Yo, check out my totally original song! I...Wanna dry my car all nIIIght.....and buy parts every day!". But, if one or two lines happen to sound similar, you shouldn't care.

I have many songs that have lyrics that sound similar to lyrics from other bands.

Here are a few examples.

Original lyric: "We see things they never see" - "Live Forever", Oasis.
My lyric: "You see the things they never see" - "You", myself.

Original lyric: "I fly too closely to the sun" - Name unknown, Played on "Degrassi: The Next Generation"
My lyric: "You fly too closely to the sun" - "You", myself.

Original lyric: "I thank you for the sun - The one that shines on everyone who feels love" - "Who Feels Love?", Oasis.
My lyric: "Walk with her through life on the grassy knoll, cause she's the one who made me feel love" - "All I Want Is Love", myself.
------------------

Are they intentional? No, not usually.
Do I regret writing them? Hell no, and I'd do it again.



GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 07:23 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Skold actually does have a point there lol
I guess it's your song it doesn't matter what your song says it was written by you with your heart.
highonbodominflames  
10 Jun 2008 07:45 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
United States
Karma
skold has a very good point major artists do it to
for example.

Black label society- Suiside Messiah
Ozzy Osborne- Suicide Solution
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 14:02 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Ozzy & Black Label Society...
Both had Zakk Wylde... I wonder if that's a factor
soy.el.che  
10 Jun 2008 15:33 | Quote
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i like it... its good.
Nutter166  
10 Jun 2008 15:36 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
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That..moved me man literally, that song...speaks to me right now ahah, its like your way of writting abut how I feel and the reason I wrote the lyrics in my thread...freaky..
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 16:01 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Well, thanks.
I don't know if I even like it or not.
I think it's kinda shitty, some parts are good ish but I will work more.
Kinda odd though it's like a wrote a song about me yet it's how you feel as well aha
Freaky, but cool
Nutter166  
10 Jun 2008 16:24 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
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Yeah it is =D Wish I had your talent in writting though =\ ah well some of us are born with it some aren't.
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 16:33 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Well I think I should like get some tutoring and stuff about how to write better material.

And I def. am gonna try to find a vocal teacher too! I wanna sing now
Nutter166  
10 Jun 2008 16:36 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
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=D Its not that bad and singing to be honest just takes time, I've been told I can sing but I have major problems with singing in front of people it goes out of key and loses its volume :(
BodomBeachTerror  
10 Jun 2008 16:45 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
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alot of singers didnt take vocal lessons, like Bruce Dickinson, Tobias Sammet from Edguy, and Daniel Heiman from Lost Horizon... to name a few good ones
soy.el.che  
10 Jun 2008 17:25 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
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ill check those singers.. that will make me feel i still can become a good vocalist...
i love singin in public n i dont care if i sing badly, but its always better to be good at it
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 17:40 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Yeah well they were probably naturally really good singers.
My voice is shitty so I think lessons might be cool.

I sing in public too even though I suck.
Ill just be there singin away listenin to my music and idc how many people stare at me.
Sometimes I even headbang hahaha
soy.el.che  
10 Jun 2008 17:48 | Quote
Joined: way back
Mexico
Lessons: 1
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it feels good to sing live, doesnt it?
i like saying after a song in which few ppl were turned on to say: come on, i came all the way to here just to play for some guys that dont like my muusic. and things like that...
last time i performed, it was funny, i messed up in the sweet child o mine song, at the end, i started the "where do we go" part like 15 sec. before.. that was my worst gig ever
EMB5490  
10 Jun 2008 17:53 | Quote
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
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zakk came to ozzy after randy died, i dought he had effect on songs wrote b4 him. lol
Nutter166  
10 Jun 2008 17:53 | Quote
Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Wales
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You basterds!! I hate you all!

I have sereious issues, if i'm in the next room by myself or with one of two (or both) people who I trust alot i'll sing really loudly and shit, otherwise tis a mumble...and I only handbang and jive behind my guitar or bass, more so behind a bass...and you cant do much behind a drum kit hahaha.
BodomBeachTerror  
10 Jun 2008 17:55 | Quote
Joined: 27 May 2008
Canada
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yeah i dont like singing in front of ppl. but i reckon singing infront of thousands of jumping maniacs would be easier
GuitarBoy666  
10 Jun 2008 18:00 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Canada
Karma: 2
Ouch soy, that would be a bit embarrassing.

I headbang on guitar too, and even good songs in guitar hero hahahaha. But mainly it is when i play guitar or listen to music.

I don't mind singing in front of people SOMETIMES. Other time's I am just really not cool with it.

Scott Ian of Anthrax didnt sing well, think he cared? No. The music was good. The vocals aren't the most important thing. Plus sometimes under average singing can add to a band (depending on the voice)
jamesrue  
16 Jun 2008 16:46 | Quote
Joined: 21 Dec 2007
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Nutter166 says:
You basterds!! I hate you all!


hey calm down man. Everyone has issues for something, it aint all bad :)


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