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DarkRiff  
2 Jun 2008 13:09 | Quote
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I got a first line to the chorus in a song I'm making called "The Keeper of Light", and I was wondering if you guys could help me out with the rest of the chorus.

the first line of the chorus goes like this:

The Keeper of light is the key to the world
Your life's in the palm of his hand
GuitarBoy666  
2 Jun 2008 13:12 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
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Hm,

I am thinking go with something that has "... his promise land" in the second line.

I can't think of anything to put before it though..
DarkRiff  
2 Jun 2008 13:15 | Quote
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ok, so something like,

There's nothing you see
there is no promise land
the darkness covers your eyes
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 13:16 | Quote
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Nahhh. I think promised land is and overused phrase.
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 13:17 | Quote
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The Keeper of light is the key to the world
Your life's in the palm of his hand
The hand of man of the promise land
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 13:17 | Quote
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an*
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 13:19 | Quote
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lol, AND overused phrase.

BodomBeachTerror  
2 Jun 2008 13:20 | Quote
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that... is brilliant. gj
DarkRiff  
2 Jun 2008 13:21 | Quote
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lets all keep in mind that this is a heavy metal song,
BodomBeachTerror  
2 Jun 2008 13:34 | Quote
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sounds like power metal
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 13:41 | Quote
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Haha, Skold, I beat you to corrected myself. :P
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 13:48 | Quote
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lol, talk about being quick to recover.
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 14:14 | Quote
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correcting*

Must be having a bad day...
DarkRiff  
2 Jun 2008 14:15 | Quote
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@BodomBeachTerror, It's the 70's & 80's Heavy Metal Sound like, Black Sabbath (When they had Dio not Ozzy).
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 14:16 | Quote
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Sounds more like some kind of Gospel.
CaseyJones  
2 Jun 2008 14:40 | Quote
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how about this


He is the keeper of light, the key to the world
The hearder of the promise land
With the power of the gods, and the light in the land
He holds your fait in the palm of his hand


yea just put that together
BodomBeachTerror  
2 Jun 2008 14:43 | Quote
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you rhymed land with land, lol not too cool =p
DarkRiff  
2 Jun 2008 14:59 | Quote
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ha, land and land, but anyways, this is supposed to be like a demon is the keeper of the light and he's holding onto it and while he has it everything is in darkness, but i'm trying to refrain from using the word demon or satan and using the word darkness more.
GuitarBoy666  
2 Jun 2008 16:02 | Quote
Joined: 20 Dec 2007
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You must sacrifice your soul to see the light
The master challenged you so prepare to fight

Haha I don't know I am not creative right now. Just really pissed off and not in a happy mood
telecrater  
2 Jun 2008 16:11 | Quote
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reminds me of Happy Gilmore

Your going to Pay, Listen to what is Say....I just May!!

Is this supposed to be a Jesus rock thing? there are alot of directors this could go in
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 16:21 | Quote
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@Tele

What are you doing monday? We could eat some hay, lay by the bay! Maybe in may!
telecrater  
2 Jun 2008 17:00 | Quote
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Yeah i just couldn't resist.
Phip  
2 Jun 2008 17:02 | Quote
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Moderator
The Keeper of light is the key to the world
Your life's in the palm of his hand
kiss the ring of the liar and get down on your knees
choose to be weak or draw a line in the sand

please send all royalty checks payable to Phip
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 17:23 | Quote
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Wait... are people trying to write lyrics in continuation of someone elses? Because if so, it's pointless. The song won't have any real meaning, or am I missing something (like did he mention a theme or story)?
Phip  
2 Jun 2008 17:27 | Quote
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But he started it!
DarkRiff asked for our help.
besides lots of writers colaborate, ie Lennon/McCartney (not that i'm comparing us to those guys)

Shit, Doz is going to give us all detention! LOL
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 17:46 | Quote
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A lot of writer do colaborate... but they *obviously* know what the song is about and have it confirmed with each other.

Plus, writing lyrics for someone isn't helping, it's just doing it for them. It'd probably be a better idea to give tips and pointers.
Phip  
2 Jun 2008 17:53 | Quote
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good point
he did explain a bit about the concept of the lyrics though...
DarkRiff says:
ha, land and land, but anyways, this is supposed to be like a demon is the keeper of the light and he's holding onto it and while he has it everything is in darkness, but i'm trying to refrain from using the word demon or satan and using the word darkness more.

i wasn't trying to write the song for him, just point out some possibilities.
Plus it gives me a chance to try a little creativity.
Sorry
Doz  
2 Jun 2008 18:01 | Quote
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I just think that if people have lyric ideas they should post them... but they might aswell call them their own lyrics. Here though, I think we should tell him what tools of language he can use to say what he wants but might not be able to currently express.
Phip  
2 Jun 2008 18:14 | Quote
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i see your point Doz and............I agree
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 21:38 | Quote
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I agree with both Doz and Phip

On one hand, we're suggesting ideas that he could use, or get inspiration from. On the other hand, we should also try and help with language (and all those other big words that Doz used).
GuitarBoy666  
2 Jun 2008 22:12 | Quote
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If you want inspiration, listen to a lot of power metal bands because they always tell like stories of crazy things.

A new power metal band I discovered recently is Firewind and damn they are good.
Skold  
2 Jun 2008 22:14 | Quote
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I generally look to The Beatles, Oasis, and personal things for my inspiration.
GuitarBoy666  
2 Jun 2008 22:15 | Quote
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I look to punk rock and pop punk bands for some reason a lot, I guess cause they're so catchy.

But if I am in that kinda mood, definitely the super heavy stuff
league  
3 Jun 2008 02:20 | Quote
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The keeper of light holds the key to your world
your soul in the palm of his hand
make you deaf make you blind
drowns each day into night
Skold  
3 Jun 2008 02:38 | Quote
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A song being catchy has no importance to me. I mean, the song can be catchy as hell, but if the lyrics/tune doesn't really MEAN something to me, then It doesn't even matter.
league  
3 Jun 2008 02:41 | Quote
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That is catchy isn't it? :D Thrash till the freaken end!!!
DarkRiff  
3 Jun 2008 08:31 | Quote
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when i posted this topic i wasn't looking for full lines of words i was just looking for keywords that i could fit in then just make stuff off of that.

also when i look into lyrics i don't really take stuff from the heart, I'm one of those people that just want to headbang to music, that why I'm looking for a singer with the same Craziness that Ozzy Osbourne had when he was with Black Sabbath, I'm not into to music to whine about how my life sucks, i'm in it to just have fun.
Skold  
3 Jun 2008 23:08 | Quote
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I agree with DR. Music is supposed to be fun. Headbanging is A-Ok in my book, so yeah. But, there has to be another side to a musician. You can't be "METAL UP YOUR ASS! ROAR!" every single second of your life.
DarkRiff  
4 Jun 2008 11:57 | Quote
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I'm not, usually my acoustic songs come from the heart, but if their not acoustic their usually a clean electric guitar with heavy reverb.

and also if guys are trying to get a feel of what this song is like, it's similar to Black Sabbath's Children of the Sea.

league  
4 Jun 2008 14:56 | Quote
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Skold says:
You can't be "METAL UP YOUR ASS! ROAR!" every single second of your life.


LOL. Very true. Some guys get too weird and sentimental though like Zakk Wyle.
"A power ballad is not Metal but it is metal to have a power ballad."
- John Donais from Shadows Fall
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